Tonight during our House Night, I learned...
I am distinctly beautiful because:
1. I am the beloved of a King.
2. I can be vulnerable. By this I mean: I am not one who is prone to sharing things about my life, but when the Lord presses on my heart to speak of what He is whispering to me, I obey. And I only hope that someone needs to hear what the Lord makes me speak.
3. I am easily overwhelmed by the power of emotion. I don't mean strictly my own emotions. I can celebrate with the joy of others, embrace their sorrow, share in their exhaustion.
4. I cry when I laugh hard enough.
5. I long for Heaven.
And I can say that these things make me beautiful because I know the only good thing in me is God in me, and I know that He makes me beautiful.
I am the beloved of a King, and perfect love casts out fear. I am sure that God is good and that I am God's. I long to always believe with certainty that I can do nothing to gain more of His love and nothing to lose any of His love.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
my Sunday
Hoping not to miss fall.
Followed by baking brownies at Leigh's new house and a glorious time spent worshiping the Lord at Veritas Church. It was a good day.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
heart matters
But I am the LORD your God from the land of Egypt; you know no God but me, and besides me there is no Saviour...It was I who knew you in the wilderness, in the land of drought. Hosea 13:4,5
So you, by the help of your God, return, hold fast to love and justice, and wait continually for your God. Hosea 12:6
AND WAIT CONTINUALLY FOR YOUR GOD.
I pray that I would know no God but You.
So you, by the help of your God, return, hold fast to love and justice, and wait continually for your God. Hosea 12:6
AND WAIT CONTINUALLY FOR YOUR GOD.
I pray that I would know no God but You.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
those clouds.
Did anyone else see the sky that I saw tonite?
We were on the last leg of our trip home from vacation; sailing down 71 south en route to state route 73 (aka the road to heaven). And the sky, oh the sky, and those clouds. The clouds looked like they were from a painting, but they were right there in front of me, some almost in my reach it seemed. I pushed my face up as close to the window as possible so I could see more sky and more clouds. My eye was caught by flickering colors on the edges of one larger cloud. As the cloud moved and the car moved, I realized the colors were the refracted light from the Sun that was creeping through that hole in the cloud. I couldn't take my eyes away from the light as the Sun made its way more clearly into the opening of the cloud. Though its brightness strained my eyes, I couldn't turn away. At one point, I actually saw the circle of the Sun, its rays, light, and brightness shielded by thin layers of cloud.
And then I realized this is how the prophets and many others describe encountering the Lord. He is a burst of light, so bright and strong that you must strain your eyes and not look directly at Him. But you can't take your eyes off Him once you've seen Him. Staring up through the clouds into the streaming sunlight, I felt that the Lord was saying to me, "I forgive you; I wish you would never choose anything over me or time with me, but I forgive you. And here I am now, shining for you, SO LOOK AT ME. Those clouds might seem nice, but I am the real beauty here, I am what you should really be searching the skies for." And I pray that I would search, both wide and deep.
sidebar: We stayed near UVA on the drive down, and walked around the campus and ate dinner there, and let me just tell you... it's beautiful. And I saw two rainbows while standing in the middle of their campus.
We were on the last leg of our trip home from vacation; sailing down 71 south en route to state route 73 (aka the road to heaven). And the sky, oh the sky, and those clouds. The clouds looked like they were from a painting, but they were right there in front of me, some almost in my reach it seemed. I pushed my face up as close to the window as possible so I could see more sky and more clouds. My eye was caught by flickering colors on the edges of one larger cloud. As the cloud moved and the car moved, I realized the colors were the refracted light from the Sun that was creeping through that hole in the cloud. I couldn't take my eyes away from the light as the Sun made its way more clearly into the opening of the cloud. Though its brightness strained my eyes, I couldn't turn away. At one point, I actually saw the circle of the Sun, its rays, light, and brightness shielded by thin layers of cloud.
And then I realized this is how the prophets and many others describe encountering the Lord. He is a burst of light, so bright and strong that you must strain your eyes and not look directly at Him. But you can't take your eyes off Him once you've seen Him. Staring up through the clouds into the streaming sunlight, I felt that the Lord was saying to me, "I forgive you; I wish you would never choose anything over me or time with me, but I forgive you. And here I am now, shining for you, SO LOOK AT ME. Those clouds might seem nice, but I am the real beauty here, I am what you should really be searching the skies for." And I pray that I would search, both wide and deep.
sidebar: We stayed near UVA on the drive down, and walked around the campus and ate dinner there, and let me just tell you... it's beautiful. And I saw two rainbows while standing in the middle of their campus.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
from my moleskin. handwritten.
Oh God, Why do I wander from You? From Your Unfailing and Undeserved Love? I go searching for other things, but I know in the deepest part of me that You are all that is Good, and beyond that, You are Best. Reign over me and reign in me, Lord. God, I desire for your Word and your Love to be engraved on my heart, just like my name is engraved on your hand. I want to be faithful and glorifying to You. Please, Lord, help me be these things. God, I want you to have my heart. I want it to be so wrapped up in You. Teach me, Lord, and I pray that I am teachable and moldable. Release me from my old ways and guide me along the path of righteousness.
God is teaching me:
that no part of me is good but Him in me.
that He is the Redeemer and the only one who can save me.
the difference between doing something or acting like something, and being something.
I want to be and not act. To be faithful and not act faithful.
God is teaching me:
that no part of me is good but Him in me.
that He is the Redeemer and the only one who can save me.
the difference between doing something or acting like something, and being something.
I want to be and not act. To be faithful and not act faithful.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
let's go...
to slab city.
and salvation mountain.
in the movie Into the Wild, they go to Slab City, CA. Also the home of Salvation Mountain. And I want to go. And I want to meet this man:
don't you want to meet him?God, why do you give me desires to go places when gas is $3.65/gal?
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
punch brothers
check out Chris Thile's (formerly of Nickel Creek) new band, Punch Brothers.
They are coming to Columbus March 7. If you're game, I'm game.
Friday, January 25, 2008
my life in couches
My English class this quarter is called "Environmental Autobiography: The Nonfiction of Place." So I've been thinking about my life through the lens of place lately... trying to break it down into specifics and not just Columbus, Springboro, Atlanta. I also just finished Elizabeth Gilbert's book Eat, Pray, Love which essentially is a work of nonfiction of place. And Gilbert's documented journey from Italy to India to Indonesia quickly worked its way up on my list of recommended books. So, in thinking about my life through place, my mind jumped to... couches. (Can couches be a place? Well, they are now.) When I think about how much time I've spent sitting, lounging, snuggling, napping, jumping and occasionally spooning on couches, it adds up! And I think, if I can name and recall specific couches from different places and periods in my life, then a couch must be identifiable as a place.
To begin with: Those big, comfy, fall-into-them jean couches which always find their homes at Young Life camps. My first experience with them being at Rockbridge. Granted, they are rather old and you might have to give the cushions a good coupla punches, those worn jean couches feel like home. They swallow you up the way your friend or grandfather hugs you when reuniting after a long time apart. Soft, warm, home.
Next: The couch in the lobby of Deer Creek. I think I spent most of my weekend there last year. Catching up with my friends, sharing what God was doing in our lives, laughing too much for the people around us, taking too many pictures. Being reunited with these friends who helped shape who I am. That couch became a part of our weekend as we uncovered truths together, sought to know our Maker, and shared triumphs and defeats.
Starbucks. Big leather couch or old purple velvet armchair--take your pick. Countless hours have I spent in the welcoming couches of Starbucks. Sure, occasionally I have probably taken too much liberty in feeling comfortable and at home in them, slipping off my shoes and snuggling in...but then again, isn't that what they are there for? I can't even begin to consider all the conversations I've had with people in those couches and armchairs at Starbucks. But I can recall piling too many girls onto a couch, falling into that velvet armchair with my arms up in defeat, and jumping out of the same armchair at the sight of a much missed friend.
This is the couch at a house in Deep Creek Lake, Maryland where I recently spent a weekend with my roommates. Very quickly, we transformed that living room into our own by relaxing, lounging, and playing in the couches. I don't know what it is about girls, but for some reason we really do love to just pile onto a couch, regardless of where we are. The house became our home for the weekend and that couch our couch as we learned more about each other.
I've read so many books, watched countless movies, had endless conversations and done innumerable other things in couches across the country. But more than these tangible things, I've built relationships, witnessed lives changing, and encountered my Savior from the comfort of these listed places. It seems trite, but I truly have grown and lived in and from these couches. I've buried my face and cried in them, laughed uncontrollably in them, battled through some of the hardest conversations in them, collapsed into them praying for God to just meet me there. Consider the actual physical places where you've spent your life, I bet you'll be surprised to find some unexpected ones.
To begin with: Those big, comfy, fall-into-them jean couches which always find their homes at Young Life camps. My first experience with them being at Rockbridge. Granted, they are rather old and you might have to give the cushions a good coupla punches, those worn jean couches feel like home. They swallow you up the way your friend or grandfather hugs you when reuniting after a long time apart. Soft, warm, home.
Next: The couch in the lobby of Deer Creek. I think I spent most of my weekend there last year. Catching up with my friends, sharing what God was doing in our lives, laughing too much for the people around us, taking too many pictures. Being reunited with these friends who helped shape who I am. That couch became a part of our weekend as we uncovered truths together, sought to know our Maker, and shared triumphs and defeats.
Starbucks. Big leather couch or old purple velvet armchair--take your pick. Countless hours have I spent in the welcoming couches of Starbucks. Sure, occasionally I have probably taken too much liberty in feeling comfortable and at home in them, slipping off my shoes and snuggling in...but then again, isn't that what they are there for? I can't even begin to consider all the conversations I've had with people in those couches and armchairs at Starbucks. But I can recall piling too many girls onto a couch, falling into that velvet armchair with my arms up in defeat, and jumping out of the same armchair at the sight of a much missed friend.
This is the couch at a house in Deep Creek Lake, Maryland where I recently spent a weekend with my roommates. Very quickly, we transformed that living room into our own by relaxing, lounging, and playing in the couches. I don't know what it is about girls, but for some reason we really do love to just pile onto a couch, regardless of where we are. The house became our home for the weekend and that couch our couch as we learned more about each other.
I've read so many books, watched countless movies, had endless conversations and done innumerable other things in couches across the country. But more than these tangible things, I've built relationships, witnessed lives changing, and encountered my Savior from the comfort of these listed places. It seems trite, but I truly have grown and lived in and from these couches. I've buried my face and cried in them, laughed uncontrollably in them, battled through some of the hardest conversations in them, collapsed into them praying for God to just meet me there. Consider the actual physical places where you've spent your life, I bet you'll be surprised to find some unexpected ones.
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