spurgeon just rocked my world.

wow. you need to go buy CH Spurgeon's Morning and Evening. Here is today's Morning (it's long but I just had to copy the whole thing):

The LORD is a jealous...God. Nahum 1:2
Your Lord is very jealous of your love, O believer. Did He choose you? He can't bear that you should choose another. Did He buy you with His own blood? He can't endure that you should think that you are your own, or that you belong to this world. He loved you with such a love that He would not stop in heaven without you; He would sooner die than have you perish, and He can't endure that anything should stand between your heart's love and Himself. He is very jealous of your trust. He will not permit you to trust in an arm of flesh. He can't bear that you should hew out broken cisterns, when the overflowing fountain is always freely available to you. When we lean upon Him, He is glad, but when we transfer our dependence to another, when we rely upon our own wisdom, or the wisdom of a friend--worst of all, when we trust in any works of our own, He is displeased, and will chasten us that He may bring us to Himself. He is also very jealous of our company. There should be no one with whom we converse so much as with Jesus. To abide in Him only, this is true love; but to commune with the world, to find sufficient solace in our carnal comforts, to prefer even the society of our fellow Christians to secret communication with Him, this is grievous to our jealous Lord. He would preferably have us abide in Him, and enjoy constant fellowship with Himself; and many of the trials which He sends us are for the purpose of weaning our hearts from the creature, and fixing them more closely upon Himself. Let this jealousy which would keep us near to Christ be also a comfort to us, for if He loves us so much as to care this much about our love, we may be sure that He won't allow anything to harm us, and will protect us from all our enemies. Oh that we may have grace this day to keep our hearts in sacred chastity for our Beloved alone, with sacred jealousy shutting our eyes to all the fascinations of the world!

true confession

you know when you're having a bad day, or even just an off day? and people say things to you like, "You know, it's okay to smile." Well, things like that just make me more upset or pised, or wanting to punch that person in the face. Sorry, a little extreme, I know... but when it's some random person who comes into Starbucks and I am making his $4 latte and for those 3 minutes I am not smiling (because making a latte is really not that exciting) and he tells me it's okay if I smile, I kind of just want to throw the latte in his face.
don't judge me please..

The other day I found out that my parents had our dog put down, and didn't actually take him to a farm like they had told us. I haven't had a dog since 3rd grade, and I just found out about this 4 days ago. Maybe you're thinking, "Well, the whole 'going to the farm' scenario has been used countless times and you should have caught on" but I was 9 years old people! And now I am 20. While it is kind of hilarious that I'm just now finding out, it's also pretty sad... and this is what I wanted to scream at the guy who told me to smile at Starbucks.